Steak With a Side of Tears

After a long day at work I sat down to eat dinner by myself; a simple steak on the barby...but you know when a certain taste or smell triggers and stirs your emotions? Well before I knew it, the tears were welling in my eyes and I was about to cry. The steak was cooked in such a way that it reminded me of the Island and cooking over the fire. This time of year, I wouldn't be at the island anyways, but since I have no chance of even being close to there, it makes me that much sadder.
I've been doing pretty well at adjusting here so far, but there are still elements of homesickness that linger in the back of my mind. Somehow I just don't feel like I fit in here, that I'm not on par with everyone else, that I'm just hanging in the shadows, following the crowd, blending in. In T.O. I was my own person, so independent, so free. I developed a life of my own that I loved, but here, it's like it's been handed to me and it makes me feel like a puzzle piece shoved in the wrong place. And it's not that I'm not grateful for everything I have here. I live with the most incredible family, have wonderful friends; but it's not those things that affect me. It's just a feeling of being unsettled, mostly because I know that I will leave here and this is temporary. Mom knows how much I love that feeling!
I find myself being envious of my friends with long term relationships, permanent jobs, and a car loan. Basically of feeling security. But this is what I came to do, and was excited to do. I just need to get excited again about this moment, this day, right now. I always look ahead and look at what's to come...travelling, New Zealand, but I need to find my happiness now. This is still my life that I'm living, it doesn't get put on hold while I'm away from home. Every day should count and should be a joyous one.
I've tried to incorporate the things I like to do into everyday life here to make it feel like normal; swimming, reading, etc. But in the words of John Mayer, "something's missing".
What is it?