Sunday, March 7, 2010

Coming Back

So what do you do when you come “back”?
I once read a fellow travel blogger's article on coming home, and no matter where you come back to, who you see, or what you do, it’s always different, but rather, you’re always different. Coming home was something I was always afraid of. What would my old friends think, would I end up in the same old routine? So instead of really going back, I opted for a different path. I came out to Vancouver, a place I’d never been, to continue my travels, yet still come home. But there’s something off, something’s not right. I feel different, and it’s not something I’m enjoying, sadly to report. While I was hoping that I could treat this move like the last year and a half of my life, it’s become more of a settling than a transition. I find myself looking for more than making a quick buck and journeying to the next destination. There were things I wanted to accomplish here that would take more than 12 weeks. I have to stay. But the cost of it seems not worth it, metaphorically and literally. Here are my dilemmas;
The cost of living is so high in Vancouver, and I’m working 2 jobs that only pay me $10/h, half of what I was used to in Australia, where the living costs were the same. How can I live, let alone save in this kind of economy?
I need to save to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself, but I don’t want to take 2 years to afford one thing. Example- going back to school, getting my PADI, taking trips around BC, travelling, doing extra curricular activities.
I don’t want to live the same life I did in Toronto- go to work, go out, make no money and spend it all.
As far as going back to school or attaining a more stable, meaningful job, I have to figure WHAT I want to do so that my time won’t be wasted.
Things in Vancouver are not going as planned and feel like a struggle. Part of my wants to just leave like I usually do, to another city, another country, anywhere. Where do I draw the line at actually proving that I can commit to something to better my future, and totally sacrificing my happiness and quality of living?
It thought that blogging might make me feel better, but the questions are now just written so I can read then, not answer them.

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